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Stress is when you wake up and realises that you haven't slept yet.
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Reality is an illusion that is born out of shortage of alcohol.
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I want to live in Switserland where the mountains are higher than the taxes.
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Join the army, meet interesting people and then ... kill them...
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Lots of people stop working once they found a job
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I am still single, my parents-in-law were not able to have children.
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Being nuts or crazy is inheritable, you get it from your children.
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The fact that there are 'intelligent' extraterrestrian creatures is proven by the fact that they did not contact us yet.
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I said no to drugs, but they did not listen!
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10.000 new jobs ... all tax inspectors?!
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Mistakes have been made, others will be punished.
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As long as they pretend to pay me, I pretend I am working.
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I started out with nothing... and I still have most of it!
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Keep the school clean ... stay home!
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Be quiet in the classroom, respect the fact that others sleep!
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The word HELLO means: H=How are you? E=Evrything alright? L=Like 2 hear from you! L=Love 2 see you soon O=Obviously I miss you..SO, HELLO
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That is how a triatlon has been invented : go swimming on foot and coming home by bike.
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The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short ... does not exist
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Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down
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Life is beautiful if you are willing to see it
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A bra is a thing that keeps up what would hang down otherwise...
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Teachers help you with problems that you would not have if they were not there.
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I am in seventh heaven, the other six do not want me.
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Women are like hurricanes! When they come they are wet and heavy. When they leave they take your home and your car!
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No one ever died because of hard labour, but I think :"why would I take the risk?"
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I love working. I can look at it for hours.
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We used to listen to the Doors, now we have Windows.
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Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
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Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code
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Life is like a nose, you have to take out what is in it!
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You need 60 muscles to be angry and 20 to smile why would you make things difficult?
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It is better to have one bullet in the hand than ten in the back.
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Wanna get stoned? Drink wet cement!
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Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
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Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
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If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought
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What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.
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Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside.
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